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Sunday 31 March 2019

Are you a Male, a Man or a Father?

Men all over the world are facing an intricate web of issues - issues ranging from perceptions about identity, image, family, work, society etc. 

These issues are making men buckle under pressures of life and the outcome is evident for all to see - depression, suicides, broken homes and marriages, divorce, transgender issues...

A lot of men are angry and frustrated and hurting inside. 

A man looking confused and frustrated

They genuinely give their best but somehow it always falls short. And No, going to the best ivy league institutions, bagging the best degrees, owning state of the art vehicles and other possessions are not bringing the answers to these identity crises. 

It was Dr Myles Munroe (of blessed memory) who made the famous quote

 "When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable."

I intend to go back to the Source to rediscover the meaning and purpose of Manhood and hence address some of the issues confronting us men. This post is therefore for us men and the women who love us and bear us. 

So who is a Male? Is he any different from a Man? 
A male is basically a human being with a male genital. When a new baby has been delivered, the very first thing that is looked out for is his gender; is he a Male or a Female? A baby with male genitals is referred to as a Boy (male), whilst one with female genitals is referred to as a Girl (female). 

A Man, on the other hand, is a MATURED MALE. One very key feature that distinguishes a male from a man is RESPONSIBILITY. 
"A Man is a matured and responsible male!" 
Any male can impregnate a lady. But it takes a man to stand up, take responsibility for his actions and father a child! That singular act of responsibility would curb the rising cases of unwanted and illegitimate children in society today. 

May I sound a note of warning to all irresponsible males at this juncture. STOP SPREADING YOUR SEED IN THE MARKET PLACE by sleeping with everything in skirts. YOUR SEED (SEMEN) IS VALUABLE. Stop wasting it by your irresponsible actions. Man up! 

Hear Wisdom speak from the Manual for life: 
"Drink water from your own well--share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? 

If you are not ready to have and raise children then you are not ready for sex! And if you insist on having sex then be prepared for the consequences of your actions. Stop endangering the lives of our young ladies and the unborn child by compelling them to go for an abortion. TRUE LOVE WAITS! 

A man takes responsibility for his actions (or inaction) as well as for other people he feels responsible for. Alas! most times his efforts go unappreciated. Who cares!!! "After all, he is only performing his obligations as a man", the people around him retort. 

Forgetting that those obligations cost the man sweat and blood, yea his very life! Still, the man trudges on - harassed and abused in the market place, unappreciated in his own home! 

To relieve some of the pressures, he resorts to drinking or takes solace in women leading to extra-marital affairs. The boy in him is crying for help and some affirmation! 

That's where a father steps in. A father steps in to affirm, to stabilize, to take by the hand and show how it is done. 

A father brings out the father in a man

That's why growing children must have the presence of a father or father figure in their life. The father disciplines a child; curbing the excesses of the child. He also gives the child this calm assurance that the child can reach his or her zenith because he has got the back. Our families today are crying for fathers to rise up and take their place. 

God Almighty is the perfect example of a Father. He loves, nurtures, corrects, protects and provides for His children. That's who a father is. 

For too long, fatherhood had been limited to just providing for the family; leaving the upbringing of children to the mothers. 

Perhaps this explains the attachment most children feel towards their mothers. Endearing words like "loving", "sacrificial", "accommodating" are words usually ascribed to mothers. Daddy's only job is to pay the school fees! 

As important and sometimes daunting as providing for your family is, dear man, fatherhood is far more than that. As a father, you are your child's first TEACHER. You are to teach and instruct your children about life. Let's stop leaving this all-important role to our wives. 

John Calvin puts it this way: 
"For when a father has children, his responsibility is not only to feed and clothe them, but his principal responsibility is to guide them so that their lives will be well regulated, and he will dedicate his full attention to that…" 
You are to speak words of affirmation as well as prophecy greatness on your family.

As a father, you are the PRIEST of your home. You are to set the spiritual atmosphere of your home as well as teach your children about God. The Almighty said this concerning a man:

 "For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.". 
Can that be said about you? 

 As a Priest, you mediate between your family and God. That is, you lift up issues and challenges concerning your family before God in prayers and bring back insights and solutions to those challenges from God's Word. 

Finally, as a father, you are a source of COVERING. You are to provide shelter, not only physical shelter to shield your family from the elements but also spiritual, emotional and financial shelter. Spiritual shelter to shield your family from wicked spiritual forces; emotional shelter to shield your family especially your wife from external emotional influences. These influences could be in the form of negative counsel or advice from friends or even in-laws! 

All these fatherly characteristics (and so much more) are not learnt in an ivy league institution. They can only be modelled from a father to his son as the son en-routes fatherhood. 

Hence the reason for my initial statement that "a father brings out the father in a man" The absence of fathers or father figures in our homes is one of the fundamental reasons for the identity crisis facing us men today. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. If you enjoyed reading this post, kindly consider subscribing to my blog and do remember to share with your friends. 

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PS: I'd like to wish all our loving mothers, wives, sisters and all women a very happy Mothers' day. Thank you for all you do. You make our lives complete and beautiful.


  1. Fathers?! This is a deep rooted word. A word that holds lots of childhood longing and wishes. Truly no one can give what they don't have. God help our fathers to be one indeed! Well done sir!

  2. Fatherhood is all about taking both physical, spiritual and emotional responsibilities of those under his care. It's not all about providing money. As a matter of fact, providing money is amongst the least of his responsibilities. Unfortunately, a lot of fathers have ceded their responsibilities to their wives, parents and even the society. I quite agree with the writeup.


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